I spent an hour and a half failing to get a sub-minute segment... God I hate using the shovel.
Also, I've looked at the boss fights, and I've made a shortlist of the best and worst HCs to get.
In order, from best to worst:
Head Thwomp (Wing Dungeon/2)
TIED: Pumpkin Head (Spirit's Grave/1) and Eyesoar (Skull Dungeon/4)
Smog (Crown Dungeon/5)
Shadow Hag (Moonlit Grotto/3)
Plasmarine (Jabu Jabu's Belly/7)
Ramrock (Ancient Ruins/8)
Octogon (Mermaid's Cave/6)
The one in Wing Dungeon is extremely close to the ladder down, therefore a must take (as we are using HCs due to the overwhelming number of damage source, as well as your frail health due to the L-1 Power Ring). Spirit's Grave and Skull Dungeon's HCs have the door located at the top of the screen, which is a shorter distance than the side. Smog's door to the essence is located on the upper wall, but there is a block in the way.
The remainder of the bosses all have their doors located to either the right or the left. Shadow Hag wins out because you are walking as opposed to swimming (swimming's slow acceleration makes it slower than walking over such a short distance, as I am an awful button masher). Plasmarine's is also a straight shot, but uses swimming. Ramrock's is located to the left and down from the HC spawn location, making the distance slightly more than the other two. Octogon takes last because you should win the fight underwater, skipping the death scene and therefore (hopefully) putting you close to the door upon his death. If said fight finishes on the left side of the screen, the HC becomes a very good choice.
I sound like a fucking TASer, I dont think the difference between the fastest and the shortest is any more than a couple seconds.
EDIT: I just bought Seasons and LA off Ebay, so if you guys are open to it, I wouldn't mind tackling both Ages and one of the others, and both desperately need new runs.
Tompa: I will make you a guarantee: if I beat your Seasons run, you don't have to worry about paying me that $20 bounty you posted on SDA.