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Author Topic: Zelda Euphemisms for Sexual Acts (NSFW Language)  (Read 10625 times)
Deku Scrub

Posts: 4

~ S T A Y ❄ T R U E ~

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« on: January 22, 2014, 11:28:45 PM »

Hey zelda speedrunners.  This is my first post on this forum, so hi everyone!  I've created a list of Zelda euphemisms for sexual acts based on speedrun stuff as well as just general game stuff.  It's sort of like urban dictionary nonsense.  I figured I should share with you guys.  If you come up with any, feel free to use this topic to add to the list!


The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time Speedrunner's Euphemisms for Sexual Acts

Epona's Song – A booty call for an ugly girl who has one of those horse faces.  She always comes when you call her (probably an effect of her looking like a horse and not being able to get any action elsewhere.)

Castle Before Night – When you fuck a girl just moments before she starts menstruating andwould have been “shut out” of having had sex that day if you were just a little bit later.

Sun's Song – When you fuck her until the sun comes up and are so deep into the act it feels like no time has passed at all.  Also works if you fuck her in the day time and next thing you know, it's dark outside.

Zelda's Lullaby – When you have sex with one of those rich, spoiled girls with uptight parents.  Afterwards, she doesn't want you or her to be caught, so she gets her personal servant to escort you out of her house undetected.

Zelda's Lullaby Cutscene Skip – The same scenario, except you just jump out of a window or do some other sort of self-damaging-escape tactic to leave her house undetected.

Deku Stick on B – When you take a shit on your girl.  Ideally the shit is a long, solid, unbroken turd (like a deku stick) and you can call your girl a B (betch, queen bee, etc) to complete the “deku stick on B” metaphor.

Infinite Sword Glitch – When your erect penis seizes up in such a state that it is constantly vibrating, causing anything it comes into contact with to have an immediate orgasm.

Navi Dive – When she begins to speak and you don't want to hear it, you simply dive down into the wetness and “swim through the hole” so to speak.  In other words you interrupt her annoying “Hey!” or “Listen!” nonsense by performing oral sex on her vagina.

Bottle Duplication – When you send the same message (booty call, sext, nude pic, etc) to several girls, duplicating a very useful tool from your inventory.

Trials Skip – When you successfully fuck a girl after having put no effort into wooing or dating her, effectively skipping the trials and tribulations that go hand in hand with getting laid.

Superslide – When it's really wet and you can just get a continuous thrusting motion which, due to lubrication, feels like there is no effort required on your part.

Extended Superslide – A form of superslide which continues indefinitely until you change your ESS position altogether.

ESS Position – A standard missionary style, pile driver position which allows for all superslide techniques.

Hyperextended Superslide – An extended superslide with an external aid, such as a third member giving you continuous boosts to help you thrust, or being on a waterbed.  Allows for angle (or position) changes.

Angle change – When you are in a HESS and it is going so strong that you can slip it out of the vagina and into the anus seamlessly.  True pros are able to go back and forth from anus to vagina and vice versa indefinitely, without losing the HESS.

Water Extended Superslide – Any form of ESS where artificial lube is used as an aid to keep the superslide going.

Wrong Warp – The OoT name for a trick known as “the Houdini.”  For instance, when you are fucking your girl from behind, you transition your friend (who has been hiding until this point) to continue fucking in your stead as you leave, without her noticing.  Then you reappear in front of her moments later.  When she freaks out, you tell her you simply “wrong warped” away from her vagina to your new location.

Wrong Warp (2) – Can also refer to when there is an understanding that you will only having vaginal intercourse, then you turn her around to go doggy style and just put it right in her ass.  You can tell her your dick “wrong warped” from her vagina to her anus.

Pokey Escape – When a girl doesn't want you to leave after sex, so you distract her by going back inside her, starting a conversation with her, and then quickly doing a somersault front roll out her bedroom door to escape early.

Fuck the second seam – When you reach down her pants and think you have found the vagina, so you start fingering around, trying to get it wet, but in reality you are actually fingering the “second seam” between the side of her crotch and her panties.  In this situation it is appropriate to yell “FUCK THE SECOND SEAM!”

CUCCOO LADY! - When a lady needs 7 cocks to be happy.

only God can judge ya, forget the haters, 'cause somebody loves ya.
Deku Scrub

Posts: 11

« Reply #1 on: January 23, 2014, 01:54:50 AM »

Truly an inspiration to us all
Regular Guay

Posts: 75

the man himself

« Reply #2 on: January 23, 2014, 03:03:00 PM »

very useful; i will remember this for my next excursion
« Last Edit: January 23, 2014, 03:05:56 PM by Yashichidsf » Logged

I can display millions of polygons!
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Regular Guay

Posts: 76

MM Woop~

« Reply #3 on: January 23, 2014, 04:36:46 PM »

Fucking Canadians

<GoronGuy> What's your opinion on slavery?
<Washeyy> Make all Greeks slaves to redeem their debt.

<Indextic> what time was the ransomiser bingo
<Indextic> yes the ransomizer
<Indextic> all the items are held hostage and you have to pay to get them
Regular Guay

Posts: 117

« Reply #4 on: January 23, 2014, 09:46:03 PM »

Farore's Warp on B = Suddenly getting away after a hot night and land on another bitch.

Before you save the world, kiss the princess or you might regret it.
Regular Guay

Posts: 139


« Reply #5 on: January 23, 2014, 09:59:24 PM »

I don't think I understand. How exactly does this AFFECT the FR?
Site Editor
Twenty-three is number one! Do you think I'm a traitor?

Posts: 231

« Reply #6 on: January 24, 2014, 05:15:47 PM »

Here's a little spicy story I wrote up: http://zeldaspeedruns.com/oot/routes/any-no-rba-ww

Quote from:  ZFG on March 24, 2008, 8:27:24 AM
Quote from:  Prognosis_4 on March 24, 2008, 8:25:50 AM
Why are you guys so certain it's possible?
Because its OoT.
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